From: Lynne
Date: July 4, 2011
Subject: Fourth Day Talk
I had the oportunity to give my Fourth Day talk last Monday evening at the Northern Hills monthly Emmaus gathering. I was asked a few months ago, and said it would have to be after Aaron's wedding, but I don't remember agreeing to June. So - 2 weeks before, I got a "reminder" email. The week before, I had fallen at Sun Harvest and ended up with 9 stitches (staples) in the back of my head where I hit my head on the bottom of the shopping cart when I went down. Teresa said her group, The O My Gosh Girls, had met and that they had specifically prayed for me. Ok, I thought, maybe that is affirmation. In preparation for my talk, I read the whole blog for the first time in a long while. I also listened to the testimony I gave in 2003 at Sunset Ridge. That Sunday, we sang "Glory". Ok - more affirmation. The talk is below.
Date: July 4, 2011
Subject: Fourth Day Talk
I had the oportunity to give my Fourth Day talk last Monday evening at the Northern Hills monthly Emmaus gathering. I was asked a few months ago, and said it would have to be after Aaron's wedding, but I don't remember agreeing to June. So - 2 weeks before, I got a "reminder" email. The week before, I had fallen at Sun Harvest and ended up with 9 stitches (staples) in the back of my head where I hit my head on the bottom of the shopping cart when I went down. Teresa said her group, The O My Gosh Girls, had met and that they had specifically prayed for me. Ok, I thought, maybe that is affirmation. In preparation for my talk, I read the whole blog for the first time in a long while. I also listened to the testimony I gave in 2003 at Sunset Ridge. That Sunday, we sang "Glory". Ok - more affirmation. The talk is below.
Fourth Day
I was very blessed to grow up in a Christian home, the 2nd of 4 kids. My parents were converted to Christ when I was just a baby. From then on, we went to church “every time the church doors were open” as they say. We even moved to Long Island, NY when I was just 6 to help to establish a church there. I gave my life to Christ and was baptized when I was 10. Jesus asks that we come to Him with a childlike heart, and that is all I knew to give Him at that time.
My name is Lynne Riggan and this talk is about my 4th days. I went on my Walk in November, 2007 so much of my faith story happened before then, and I want to give you some background.
There were 2 significant events during my growing-up years that made me realize that church was more than just occupying a pew, and that God knows my name. My family moved a lot because Dad worked in aerospace. The summer before my sophomore year, we moved to St. Louis for Dad to work on the Skylab project. I resented that move, and did not want to be there. The first Wednesday night, of course, we found a church and learned that an area-wide youth campaign was starting the very next day. Although definitely NOT wanting to be there, my brother David and I were soon swept in to the activity of inviting people to the evening gatherings, and singing songs we never had heard before. We were in awe at the teaching, the singing, and how many people came every night to give their lives to Christ – especially the biker who walked up to the front with his knife in his hand, and proceeded to give it to the speaker and tell him that he would never fight again. For the next year, we went weekly to meet with a group to study the Bible and sing – just because they wanted to, not because they had to – a new concept for us.
The next event happened in 1981 when the company I had worked for since graduating from Lubbock Christian College closed its Lubbock plant. Because I had college friends in Midland, and due to the oil boom jobs were plentiful, I went down to look for work – and had an offer the very next day with Clajon Gas Company. My current boss worked it out so that I would work that week, take the next week off to move, and then be laid off at the end of the following week so I would get some severance pay to help with expenses. Housing was scarce in Midland so I had made arrangements to sub-let an apartment for the summer, but during the week I was back in Lubbock, someone from the church office in Midland called to say that there was, indeed a house to rent, and although I did not have a stick of furniture or a roommate to help pay for it, I accepted. God did indeed provide furniture from several sources, and sent me a roommate who is still one of my very best friends. However, in those same 2 months, my car got an oil leak, I developed a serious eye infection, my dog got ticks that I knew nothing about. It was if God was saying, “don’t get too comfortable – I am in control here not you. Incidentally, or maybe not so incidentally, I am still with the same company today, having survived many sales and acquisitions along the way, transferring to San Antonio in December of 1990 because of one of them.
In 1983, I met my husband at my sister’s wedding. He, too, had been blessed to grow up in a Christian home, and we had that common foundation to base our marriage on. In my mind, it was one of the worst times to become involved in a serious relationship because my parents were divorcing after 30 years of marriage – the hardest thing I had faced up to that time in my life. I being the only one of my siblings not married at the time, thought I should do what I could do to “save” them. I soon learned that God had instead, given me Russell to help me through that very difficult time. We were married 14 months to the day after we met, and will celebrate our 27th anniversary in August.
In 1987, we learned that God has a sense of humor because instead of one big baby like we were expecting, we found out just 9 days before that we were having twins! Through the days and months ahead, we learned the blessings of being part of a church family, who reached out to each other as God’s family.
Fast-forward to Christmas Eve, 1999, just 30 minutes after my son Aaron and I had finished cleaning the ashes out of our limestone fireplace, I stepped up on the hearth to light a candle on the mantle when the whole façade, fell away from the wall, and threw me across the room. My right foot was trapped beneath the rubble, and I could not move from the neck down. Just 12 at the time, the boys came running from the back room “Mom, are you ok? No, I replied, Eric, you call 911. Aaron, get my cell phone and call your Dad at work – at HEB on Christmas Eve. Don’t let them put you on hold - it is an Emergency! Oh, and put the dog in the backyard so when everyone gets here she won’t freak out. Within 5 minutes, we heard the sirens, and Russ came a couple minutes later. Before Russ followed the ambulance to University Hospital, he made calls – to my brother David to get family communication and prayers started, and the other to one of the elders at our church to get the prayer chain started. By the time we got to the hospital, a couple from church met us there. They sat with our boys in the waiting room while Russ was in the ER with me.
After getting me stabilized, we spent the next 11 hours in the E.R., where several more tests were done. I had broken my right ankle, and although some feeling was coming back in my feet, I still was having difficulty moving my arms. Two Neurologists examined, and brought in the Neurosurgeon to examine me, as well. He ordered an MRI, which showed some swelling of my spinal cord, plus two herniated disks in my neck; between C3-4, and C4-5. He also ordered a strong dose of steroids to try to bring down the swelling in my spinal column, before even considering surgery. I was in ICU for 7 days.
From the very beginning, Christian music played a very important part in my healing process. Very early on, I had a radio tuned to KLOVE, which although the signal was often spotty in town, always came in perfectly wherever I was in the hospital. My brother brought me a Dennis Jernigan CD from his collection which he found especially encouraging during difficult times. As it turned out, my sister had woken up the morning of Christmas Eve and felt strongly that she should exchange the CD she had gotten David for Christmas, and so, although it was already wrapped, she returned it. They discovered after returning home from seeing me in the hospital, that it was the same one he had given me. We knew God had a message for us in those songs.
The church choir I sang with met to lift me up in prayer, and then made arrangements to call me so my brother could hold the phone up to my ear while they sang “Glory” – one of my favorite songs. And, incidentally, we sang it this past Sunday as I contemplated and prayed about what to include in this talk.
Glory to the King of Kings
Majesty, power and strength to the Lord of Lords.
One sweet lady who came to see me told me, “I know God knew you before, but He sure is hearing a lot about you now!” The King of Kings – that is who we cried out to. At home, church people brought food to my family, took care of my kids, sent cards, letters, phone calls – the outpouring of love was amazing. They were the hands and feet of Jesus to us. We had to learn to say thank-you.
After 7 days, the swelling had gone down enough to move me to an intermediate unit. There, they started some limited therapy to try to get some movement started again, and sat me in a big chair several times a day to get me upright. I had some feeling in my feet, but my hands not so much. I could feel heat and loved to have lotion rubbed on my hands and feet.
Finally, on January 5, I was admitted to Reeves Rehab. In case you don’t know, rehab is no picnic – you work very hard, and along the way they cheer you on for every seemingly small accomplishment, and then help to set more goals. Music was as much a part of my therapy as the rest, listening through the night so I wouldn’t feel alone, and in the morning before I started another hard day. Gradually, I got some movement back in my feet first, and then my left hand before my right. Ever so slowly I could sit up, then “stand” in a standing machine, working with putty in my hands to strengthen them, retraining my body to do what my mind knew how to do. My feet functioned better than my hands, so when they finally fit me for a wheel chair, I drove it with my feet so that it quickly became nicknamed my Flintstones car.
It was such a blessing that I had no brain damage. From the beginning, I could talk to everyone, telling them what I felt, and what I needed, encouraging others as they encouraged me, and even sang with the group from church that came to see me one Sunday afternoon. I had to learn to coach, when I usually insisted on doing it myself. I was given a voice-activated cell phone since I could not hold the phone myself. That way I could call family and friends, as well as the people at work, who supported me through it all.
Six weeks after my accident, the doctors determined it was time for surgery. They would “unroof” C1-C4 of my spinal cord to give it as much free movement as possible, so that I had the possibility to regain movement. No one gave me hope of walking again. The night before the surgery, the elders from our church, some family and a couple of close friends came to the hospital to pray with and for me, and anoint me with oil, claiming the promise in James 5:13-16 " Is any one of you troubled? He should pray. ...Is any one of you sick? He should call the elders of the church to pray over him and anoint him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well: the Lord will raise him up....The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective." As I went in to surgery, I had peace and I knew I was in God’s hands, and He is able to “make a way where there seems to be no way”, as the song goes, and He is able to do abundantly more than we ask or even think, as it says in Ephesians 3.
The surgery went well, but I had some physical setbacks because of it, and ended up back in rehab for 3 more weeks. Finally, I was able to go home, just 1 day shy of 2 months since my accident. For the next year and a half I did outpatient therapy 3 and then 2 times a week. We continued to work on standing, strengthening exercises, endurance, dexterity skills for my hands, and shoulder strength. And in the process, against all human odds, I did walk again – the first few steps with a walker were awesome! I was gradually able to increase my distance, and was prescribed a mobilizer to use rather my wheel chair (a walker with wheels and hand brakes.) Then, eventually, about 10 months after my accident, I graduated to a cane. Today, I still walk with a cane – but I can WALK with ONLY a cane!
“I praise you God, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made (psalm 139) and I know that “nothing is too difficult for Thee” (Jer 32:17) I knew that God intended for me to continue to testify to His amazing love and grace.
My name is Lynne Riggan and this talk is about my 4th days. I went on my Walk in November, 2007 so much of my faith story happened before then, and I want to give you some background.
There were 2 significant events during my growing-up years that made me realize that church was more than just occupying a pew, and that God knows my name. My family moved a lot because Dad worked in aerospace. The summer before my sophomore year, we moved to St. Louis for Dad to work on the Skylab project. I resented that move, and did not want to be there. The first Wednesday night, of course, we found a church and learned that an area-wide youth campaign was starting the very next day. Although definitely NOT wanting to be there, my brother David and I were soon swept in to the activity of inviting people to the evening gatherings, and singing songs we never had heard before. We were in awe at the teaching, the singing, and how many people came every night to give their lives to Christ – especially the biker who walked up to the front with his knife in his hand, and proceeded to give it to the speaker and tell him that he would never fight again. For the next year, we went weekly to meet with a group to study the Bible and sing – just because they wanted to, not because they had to – a new concept for us.
The next event happened in 1981 when the company I had worked for since graduating from Lubbock Christian College closed its Lubbock plant. Because I had college friends in Midland, and due to the oil boom jobs were plentiful, I went down to look for work – and had an offer the very next day with Clajon Gas Company. My current boss worked it out so that I would work that week, take the next week off to move, and then be laid off at the end of the following week so I would get some severance pay to help with expenses. Housing was scarce in Midland so I had made arrangements to sub-let an apartment for the summer, but during the week I was back in Lubbock, someone from the church office in Midland called to say that there was, indeed a house to rent, and although I did not have a stick of furniture or a roommate to help pay for it, I accepted. God did indeed provide furniture from several sources, and sent me a roommate who is still one of my very best friends. However, in those same 2 months, my car got an oil leak, I developed a serious eye infection, my dog got ticks that I knew nothing about. It was if God was saying, “don’t get too comfortable – I am in control here not you. Incidentally, or maybe not so incidentally, I am still with the same company today, having survived many sales and acquisitions along the way, transferring to San Antonio in December of 1990 because of one of them.
In 1983, I met my husband at my sister’s wedding. He, too, had been blessed to grow up in a Christian home, and we had that common foundation to base our marriage on. In my mind, it was one of the worst times to become involved in a serious relationship because my parents were divorcing after 30 years of marriage – the hardest thing I had faced up to that time in my life. I being the only one of my siblings not married at the time, thought I should do what I could do to “save” them. I soon learned that God had instead, given me Russell to help me through that very difficult time. We were married 14 months to the day after we met, and will celebrate our 27th anniversary in August.
In 1987, we learned that God has a sense of humor because instead of one big baby like we were expecting, we found out just 9 days before that we were having twins! Through the days and months ahead, we learned the blessings of being part of a church family, who reached out to each other as God’s family.
Fast-forward to Christmas Eve, 1999, just 30 minutes after my son Aaron and I had finished cleaning the ashes out of our limestone fireplace, I stepped up on the hearth to light a candle on the mantle when the whole façade, fell away from the wall, and threw me across the room. My right foot was trapped beneath the rubble, and I could not move from the neck down. Just 12 at the time, the boys came running from the back room “Mom, are you ok? No, I replied, Eric, you call 911. Aaron, get my cell phone and call your Dad at work – at HEB on Christmas Eve. Don’t let them put you on hold - it is an Emergency! Oh, and put the dog in the backyard so when everyone gets here she won’t freak out. Within 5 minutes, we heard the sirens, and Russ came a couple minutes later. Before Russ followed the ambulance to University Hospital, he made calls – to my brother David to get family communication and prayers started, and the other to one of the elders at our church to get the prayer chain started. By the time we got to the hospital, a couple from church met us there. They sat with our boys in the waiting room while Russ was in the ER with me.
After getting me stabilized, we spent the next 11 hours in the E.R., where several more tests were done. I had broken my right ankle, and although some feeling was coming back in my feet, I still was having difficulty moving my arms. Two Neurologists examined, and brought in the Neurosurgeon to examine me, as well. He ordered an MRI, which showed some swelling of my spinal cord, plus two herniated disks in my neck; between C3-4, and C4-5. He also ordered a strong dose of steroids to try to bring down the swelling in my spinal column, before even considering surgery. I was in ICU for 7 days.
From the very beginning, Christian music played a very important part in my healing process. Very early on, I had a radio tuned to KLOVE, which although the signal was often spotty in town, always came in perfectly wherever I was in the hospital. My brother brought me a Dennis Jernigan CD from his collection which he found especially encouraging during difficult times. As it turned out, my sister had woken up the morning of Christmas Eve and felt strongly that she should exchange the CD she had gotten David for Christmas, and so, although it was already wrapped, she returned it. They discovered after returning home from seeing me in the hospital, that it was the same one he had given me. We knew God had a message for us in those songs.
The church choir I sang with met to lift me up in prayer, and then made arrangements to call me so my brother could hold the phone up to my ear while they sang “Glory” – one of my favorite songs. And, incidentally, we sang it this past Sunday as I contemplated and prayed about what to include in this talk.
Glory to the King of Kings
Majesty, power and strength to the Lord of Lords.
One sweet lady who came to see me told me, “I know God knew you before, but He sure is hearing a lot about you now!” The King of Kings – that is who we cried out to. At home, church people brought food to my family, took care of my kids, sent cards, letters, phone calls – the outpouring of love was amazing. They were the hands and feet of Jesus to us. We had to learn to say thank-you.
After 7 days, the swelling had gone down enough to move me to an intermediate unit. There, they started some limited therapy to try to get some movement started again, and sat me in a big chair several times a day to get me upright. I had some feeling in my feet, but my hands not so much. I could feel heat and loved to have lotion rubbed on my hands and feet.
Finally, on January 5, I was admitted to Reeves Rehab. In case you don’t know, rehab is no picnic – you work very hard, and along the way they cheer you on for every seemingly small accomplishment, and then help to set more goals. Music was as much a part of my therapy as the rest, listening through the night so I wouldn’t feel alone, and in the morning before I started another hard day. Gradually, I got some movement back in my feet first, and then my left hand before my right. Ever so slowly I could sit up, then “stand” in a standing machine, working with putty in my hands to strengthen them, retraining my body to do what my mind knew how to do. My feet functioned better than my hands, so when they finally fit me for a wheel chair, I drove it with my feet so that it quickly became nicknamed my Flintstones car.
It was such a blessing that I had no brain damage. From the beginning, I could talk to everyone, telling them what I felt, and what I needed, encouraging others as they encouraged me, and even sang with the group from church that came to see me one Sunday afternoon. I had to learn to coach, when I usually insisted on doing it myself. I was given a voice-activated cell phone since I could not hold the phone myself. That way I could call family and friends, as well as the people at work, who supported me through it all.
Six weeks after my accident, the doctors determined it was time for surgery. They would “unroof” C1-C4 of my spinal cord to give it as much free movement as possible, so that I had the possibility to regain movement. No one gave me hope of walking again. The night before the surgery, the elders from our church, some family and a couple of close friends came to the hospital to pray with and for me, and anoint me with oil, claiming the promise in James 5:13-16 " Is any one of you troubled? He should pray. ...Is any one of you sick? He should call the elders of the church to pray over him and anoint him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well: the Lord will raise him up....The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective." As I went in to surgery, I had peace and I knew I was in God’s hands, and He is able to “make a way where there seems to be no way”, as the song goes, and He is able to do abundantly more than we ask or even think, as it says in Ephesians 3.
The surgery went well, but I had some physical setbacks because of it, and ended up back in rehab for 3 more weeks. Finally, I was able to go home, just 1 day shy of 2 months since my accident. For the next year and a half I did outpatient therapy 3 and then 2 times a week. We continued to work on standing, strengthening exercises, endurance, dexterity skills for my hands, and shoulder strength. And in the process, against all human odds, I did walk again – the first few steps with a walker were awesome! I was gradually able to increase my distance, and was prescribed a mobilizer to use rather my wheel chair (a walker with wheels and hand brakes.) Then, eventually, about 10 months after my accident, I graduated to a cane. Today, I still walk with a cane – but I can WALK with ONLY a cane!
“I praise you God, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made (psalm 139) and I know that “nothing is too difficult for Thee” (Jer 32:17) I knew that God intended for me to continue to testify to His amazing love and grace.
| I Thessalonians 1 |
| 2 We always thank God for all of you, mentioning you in our prayers. 3 We continually remember before our God and Father your work produced by faith, your labor prompted by love, and your endurance inspired by hope in our Lord Jesus Christ. |
| 4 For we know, brothers loved by God, that he has chosen you, 5 because our gospel came to you not simply with words, but also with power, with the Holy Spirit and with deep conviction. You know how we lived among you for your sake. 6 You became imitators of us and of the Lord; in spite of severe suffering, you welcomed the message with the joy given by the Holy Spirit. 7 And so you became a model to all the believers in Macedonia and Achaia. 8 The Lord's message rang out from you not only in Macedonia and Achaia--your faith in God has become known everywhere. |
For me, this says "Lynne, your endurance is inspired by hope in our Lord Jesus Christ. You know, don't you, that God has chosen you. His Gospel is not merely words to you, but His Spirit and power are at work in you, resulting in a deep conviction. You became an imitator of the Lord and in spite of your physical suffering your joy overflows. You became a model to all believers in your own little world, and also to all who have heard your story around the nation. Your faith in God has become known everywhere."
And so, our new life became more routine. Russ kept things going at home – cooking, grocery shopping, and taking the boys and me everywhere we needed to go. I continued my employment as an accountant the whole time, even surviving a company sale in 2002. I couldn’t do what he was doing, and he couldn’t do what I did. God worked it out for us that way. I was part of a major software implementation, and was asked to resume my former position as fixed assets accounting manager. My job grew steadily more stressful. We had just completed a major project the first of November, 2007.
My brother David and sister Teresa are very involved in the Llano Estacado Emmaus community outside of Lubbock, and they had been telling me about it for several years. Teresa was giving a talk using our Dad’s death the year before as illustration. She had been telling me about it, and about Emmaus in general for the last few years during our weekly Sunday night phone calls. About 2 weeks before the walk, our other sister, Ruth, lost her job in Phoenix – and that gave her the time to be able to go on Teresa’s walk. “I’m jealous”, I told Teresa. “You can come, too”, she said. “I can’t just invite myself”. “I have been inviting you for 3 years” she said. Well, due to all the traveling to Houston for the project, I had earned a frequent flier ticket, and I had 4 days of vacation I had to use or lose. It became apparent that it was my God appointed time.
The Thursday afternoon I arrived in Lubbock, one of the key members of my work team called to say she had resigned. And I had time to visit with Ruth for the first time in a long while, and she made some heavy confessions. I was on emotional overload before my brother ever came to take me to dinner and out to Mercy Center where the walk was held. Why am I here, Lord? To share my story? To be there for Ruth – she obviously needs You and us. To be there for Teresa, as she told about Dad? Teresa gave me a big hug and “God has something special for you, too, Lynne.”
The talks really got me thinking – especially the ones on grace. You see, not only was I physically broken from my accident, but I had seen myself physically broken from birth. I was born with a very obvious eye defect, and I NEVER talked about it, and lived in fear that anyone would ask. It had become a regular source of embarrassment and anxiety. I watched people when they met me for the first time, and whether real or perceived, within the first few minutes their finger would go to their right eye and I knew they had seen it. I felt they judged me. If they asked about my cane, I would talk about it openly, but not about my eyes. I had asked God many more than three times as it says in 2 Cor 12 that my thorn in the flesh be taken away. I never really heard the rest of it “my grace is sufficient for you. My power is made perfect in weakness.”
The speaker asked what do I need to give up to be able to experience the full extent of God’s grace? We went to the chapel. After a few minutes, Phil said to come to the front and take a piece of bread and say out loud what you need to give to God. I took the bread, and he said to me, “Lynne, this is the body of Christ broken for YOU. Without looking at him, I said “my eyes”. I sat back down and began to cry, and then to sob. I had held this in me for 50 years – did I believe that God could actually free me? A dear, sweet sister named Sylvia came and placed her hands on my shoulders and said “let it go – the Spirit wants to take it from you. Crying even harder, and struggling with it to the very depths of my being, I started to feel a warmth move from her hands up my shoulders and this golden light came out of my eyes! When Phil called us back up to the front I looked Phil straight in the eyes and smiled as I took a piece of the broken bread out of the basket. Then I dipped it in the blood as Donna told me, “Lynne, this is the blood of Christ which was poured out for YOU! When we all got through, Phil held up the empty basket to show that all of our concerns, worries, and confessions had been washed in the blood of Jesus – the Lamb of God. WOW!! Yes, Lord – I do believe. Please help me in my unbelief.
The next morning, several people said to me, “I don’t know what happened to you but even your countenance has changed.” Someone said “you look beautiful this morning!”. Well, beautiful is certainly not an adjective I would have ever used on myself – but God does – the bride of Christ, He has called me by name – I am His, and He quiets me with His love, and rejoices over me with singing. Now when people look at me, I pray and believe that they see the Spirit of the living God on my face and in my eyes.
There have been many 4th days since then. Two of the most significant have been the weddings of both of my boys and the addition of 2 wonderful Godly women as daughter-in-laws. My hands as a mom are empty now. I still have a stressful job, but I know that I am still there in that position for more than the work. With the Spirit’s help, I am to be the light in the darkness, salt of the earth, and the sweet aroma of Christ. I’ll be the first to admit that it has also been the source of many discipleship denied days. I know that these present days, as the days of my accident, are part of His plan for me. I don’t know what comes next, but He does. Lord, You know all my excuses, my physical limitations. But all you ask for is a willingness to be used. Use me Lord – just as I am without one plea, but that thy blood was shed for me.
De Colores!
Lynne
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And so, our new life became more routine. Russ kept things going at home – cooking, grocery shopping, and taking the boys and me everywhere we needed to go. I continued my employment as an accountant the whole time, even surviving a company sale in 2002. I couldn’t do what he was doing, and he couldn’t do what I did. God worked it out for us that way. I was part of a major software implementation, and was asked to resume my former position as fixed assets accounting manager. My job grew steadily more stressful. We had just completed a major project the first of November, 2007.
My brother David and sister Teresa are very involved in the Llano Estacado Emmaus community outside of Lubbock, and they had been telling me about it for several years. Teresa was giving a talk using our Dad’s death the year before as illustration. She had been telling me about it, and about Emmaus in general for the last few years during our weekly Sunday night phone calls. About 2 weeks before the walk, our other sister, Ruth, lost her job in Phoenix – and that gave her the time to be able to go on Teresa’s walk. “I’m jealous”, I told Teresa. “You can come, too”, she said. “I can’t just invite myself”. “I have been inviting you for 3 years” she said. Well, due to all the traveling to Houston for the project, I had earned a frequent flier ticket, and I had 4 days of vacation I had to use or lose. It became apparent that it was my God appointed time.
The Thursday afternoon I arrived in Lubbock, one of the key members of my work team called to say she had resigned. And I had time to visit with Ruth for the first time in a long while, and she made some heavy confessions. I was on emotional overload before my brother ever came to take me to dinner and out to Mercy Center where the walk was held. Why am I here, Lord? To share my story? To be there for Ruth – she obviously needs You and us. To be there for Teresa, as she told about Dad? Teresa gave me a big hug and “God has something special for you, too, Lynne.”
The talks really got me thinking – especially the ones on grace. You see, not only was I physically broken from my accident, but I had seen myself physically broken from birth. I was born with a very obvious eye defect, and I NEVER talked about it, and lived in fear that anyone would ask. It had become a regular source of embarrassment and anxiety. I watched people when they met me for the first time, and whether real or perceived, within the first few minutes their finger would go to their right eye and I knew they had seen it. I felt they judged me. If they asked about my cane, I would talk about it openly, but not about my eyes. I had asked God many more than three times as it says in 2 Cor 12 that my thorn in the flesh be taken away. I never really heard the rest of it “my grace is sufficient for you. My power is made perfect in weakness.”
The speaker asked what do I need to give up to be able to experience the full extent of God’s grace? We went to the chapel. After a few minutes, Phil said to come to the front and take a piece of bread and say out loud what you need to give to God. I took the bread, and he said to me, “Lynne, this is the body of Christ broken for YOU. Without looking at him, I said “my eyes”. I sat back down and began to cry, and then to sob. I had held this in me for 50 years – did I believe that God could actually free me? A dear, sweet sister named Sylvia came and placed her hands on my shoulders and said “let it go – the Spirit wants to take it from you. Crying even harder, and struggling with it to the very depths of my being, I started to feel a warmth move from her hands up my shoulders and this golden light came out of my eyes! When Phil called us back up to the front I looked Phil straight in the eyes and smiled as I took a piece of the broken bread out of the basket. Then I dipped it in the blood as Donna told me, “Lynne, this is the blood of Christ which was poured out for YOU! When we all got through, Phil held up the empty basket to show that all of our concerns, worries, and confessions had been washed in the blood of Jesus – the Lamb of God. WOW!! Yes, Lord – I do believe. Please help me in my unbelief.
The next morning, several people said to me, “I don’t know what happened to you but even your countenance has changed.” Someone said “you look beautiful this morning!”. Well, beautiful is certainly not an adjective I would have ever used on myself – but God does – the bride of Christ, He has called me by name – I am His, and He quiets me with His love, and rejoices over me with singing. Now when people look at me, I pray and believe that they see the Spirit of the living God on my face and in my eyes.
There have been many 4th days since then. Two of the most significant have been the weddings of both of my boys and the addition of 2 wonderful Godly women as daughter-in-laws. My hands as a mom are empty now. I still have a stressful job, but I know that I am still there in that position for more than the work. With the Spirit’s help, I am to be the light in the darkness, salt of the earth, and the sweet aroma of Christ. I’ll be the first to admit that it has also been the source of many discipleship denied days. I know that these present days, as the days of my accident, are part of His plan for me. I don’t know what comes next, but He does. Lord, You know all my excuses, my physical limitations. But all you ask for is a willingness to be used. Use me Lord – just as I am without one plea, but that thy blood was shed for me.
De Colores!
Lynne
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