From: Lynne
Date: November 6, 2002
Dear Friends and Family,
In March of this year I had an MRI done of my neck, as I have done each year since my accident. Can you believe it will be 3 years on Christmas Eve? The scan showed some herniation and further deterioration in the C5-C6 level right below the location of my posterior laminectomy surgery. This, the neurosurgeon said, was something to watch. He sent me to see my spinal cord doctor, Dr. Barber. They have worked in tandem during the whole process. During the months since then, I have been experiencing some further numbing and weakening in my right foot, leg, particularly up to my knee, and also weakness in my right shoulder. In September when I saw Dr. Barber, he acknowledged the numbing and weakening as clinically noticeable, and contacted my neurosurgeon, recommending another MRI now rather than waiting until March for my annual. I had that done on October 8. The doctor read the films, and told his nurse that it appeared to be time to do some fusion surgery. All along he had said that it was a possibility some time in the future. While that was what we expected to hear, it is very difficult to face. I will discuss all of this with him on November 22. We are waiting that long because on the 19th, I am expecting a miracle.
Many of you know that I have limited eyesight due to a congenital defect called coloboma. My left eye is correctable to 20-40 while the other one sees mainly peripherally. It is a miracle that I am able to see at all. Many more than 3 times I prayed that my thorn would be removed. (II Cor. 12:7-9) Each time God reminded me that His grace is sufficient for me, and that His power is made perfect in weakness. A year ago I found out that my good eye is growing a cataract. I was devastated. Hadn’t I suffered enough? Why my good eye? I wallowed in self-pity all day. The next morning, God woke me up – not a still small voice, but rather a command. Get up – I want to talk to you! I pulled out my tape and listened to Dennis Jernigan sing “If I could sit with You a while, I need You to hold me. Nothing could touch me though I am wounded, though I die.” Then I opened my Bible to Isaiah 40. My eyes did not fall on my favorite words “but they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall mount up on wings like eagles”, but rather “DO YOU NOT KNOW? HAVE YOU NOT HEARD?” Yes, Lord, I DO know – how faithful you are to me, how you have been with me, and given me the miracle of being able to walk again, against all odds. Forgive my unbelief, and help me to leave this latest situation in your hands. When I went back in for my eye exam this year, the cataract had grown. I was referred to Dr. Snip. On November 19, he is going to remove the cataract, implant a lens, AND do a pupiloplasty to correct the defect. I should be able to see perfectly for the first time in my life. Even as I write this, it is hard for me to grasp.
The end of that same week, I will see my neurosurgeon to schedule the needed surgery. This time, they will go in from the front to do the fusion. Because I have lost the natural curvature of my neck, it will most likely be necessary for me to be in the hospital in traction for a couple of days to get things lined up properly before he can even do the surgery. The recovery period will probably be 6 weeks or so. He wants to do it as soon as possible since my symptoms are getting continually worse, and there is no guarantee that I will regain feeling or functionality. We, however, prefer to wait until after the first of the year. Emotionally, having it around the holidays would be really hard.
You may also know that my company went up for sale in April. It is an energy company- has anyone noticed that energy is not the business to be in right now? The sale process was finally completed on October 4. However, I, along with the rest of the accounting department was given a 30 - 60 day determination period, and I still do not have a permanent position. The good news is that Energy Transfer Company wants to keep the office in San Antonio and grow it. Another major lesson in leaving it up to God! My human nature sure finds that hard to do – even though He has proven Himself faithful so many times. Anyway, by the first of the year, things should be settled down there as well, and hopefully, I will still be employed.
Through all of this, I pray that I will remember that the Lord is my shepherd, my rock, my shield, and my fortress. A song by FFH says “He will carry me until it is safe to walk again.” I think that must be what it is like to be hidden “in the shadow of His wing.”
Date: November 6, 2002
Dear Friends and Family,
In March of this year I had an MRI done of my neck, as I have done each year since my accident. Can you believe it will be 3 years on Christmas Eve? The scan showed some herniation and further deterioration in the C5-C6 level right below the location of my posterior laminectomy surgery. This, the neurosurgeon said, was something to watch. He sent me to see my spinal cord doctor, Dr. Barber. They have worked in tandem during the whole process. During the months since then, I have been experiencing some further numbing and weakening in my right foot, leg, particularly up to my knee, and also weakness in my right shoulder. In September when I saw Dr. Barber, he acknowledged the numbing and weakening as clinically noticeable, and contacted my neurosurgeon, recommending another MRI now rather than waiting until March for my annual. I had that done on October 8. The doctor read the films, and told his nurse that it appeared to be time to do some fusion surgery. All along he had said that it was a possibility some time in the future. While that was what we expected to hear, it is very difficult to face. I will discuss all of this with him on November 22. We are waiting that long because on the 19th, I am expecting a miracle.
Many of you know that I have limited eyesight due to a congenital defect called coloboma. My left eye is correctable to 20-40 while the other one sees mainly peripherally. It is a miracle that I am able to see at all. Many more than 3 times I prayed that my thorn would be removed. (II Cor. 12:7-9) Each time God reminded me that His grace is sufficient for me, and that His power is made perfect in weakness. A year ago I found out that my good eye is growing a cataract. I was devastated. Hadn’t I suffered enough? Why my good eye? I wallowed in self-pity all day. The next morning, God woke me up – not a still small voice, but rather a command. Get up – I want to talk to you! I pulled out my tape and listened to Dennis Jernigan sing “If I could sit with You a while, I need You to hold me. Nothing could touch me though I am wounded, though I die.” Then I opened my Bible to Isaiah 40. My eyes did not fall on my favorite words “but they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall mount up on wings like eagles”, but rather “DO YOU NOT KNOW? HAVE YOU NOT HEARD?” Yes, Lord, I DO know – how faithful you are to me, how you have been with me, and given me the miracle of being able to walk again, against all odds. Forgive my unbelief, and help me to leave this latest situation in your hands. When I went back in for my eye exam this year, the cataract had grown. I was referred to Dr. Snip. On November 19, he is going to remove the cataract, implant a lens, AND do a pupiloplasty to correct the defect. I should be able to see perfectly for the first time in my life. Even as I write this, it is hard for me to grasp.
The end of that same week, I will see my neurosurgeon to schedule the needed surgery. This time, they will go in from the front to do the fusion. Because I have lost the natural curvature of my neck, it will most likely be necessary for me to be in the hospital in traction for a couple of days to get things lined up properly before he can even do the surgery. The recovery period will probably be 6 weeks or so. He wants to do it as soon as possible since my symptoms are getting continually worse, and there is no guarantee that I will regain feeling or functionality. We, however, prefer to wait until after the first of the year. Emotionally, having it around the holidays would be really hard.
You may also know that my company went up for sale in April. It is an energy company- has anyone noticed that energy is not the business to be in right now? The sale process was finally completed on October 4. However, I, along with the rest of the accounting department was given a 30 - 60 day determination period, and I still do not have a permanent position. The good news is that Energy Transfer Company wants to keep the office in San Antonio and grow it. Another major lesson in leaving it up to God! My human nature sure finds that hard to do – even though He has proven Himself faithful so many times. Anyway, by the first of the year, things should be settled down there as well, and hopefully, I will still be employed.
Through all of this, I pray that I will remember that the Lord is my shepherd, my rock, my shield, and my fortress. A song by FFH says “He will carry me until it is safe to walk again.” I think that must be what it is like to be hidden “in the shadow of His wing.”
Jeremiah 29
11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD , "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.
Psalm 73
26 My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. 27 Those who are far from you will perish; you destroy all who are unfaithful to you. 28 But as for me, it is good to be near God. I have made the Sovereign LORD my refuge; I will tell of all your deeds.